A Jojee Visit!

For those who don't already know, my sister Joanna (along with my other siblings), became an aunt when my little boy Brendan was born 4 years ago. She quickly became known as Auntie Jo-Jo. This was mainly because it was easy for a little baby to say. In fact, I think he said Da-Da first and then Papa and then Jo-Jo (My dad swears he said Papa the day he was born). Mama and Nana came last. :( Those darn "M" and "N" sounds are harder to make! Anyway, all by himself Brendan started turning his Da-Da and Ma-Ma words into Daddy and Mommy and for some reason, unknown to us, he decide to do the same with Jo-Jo. She is now affectionately knows as Jojee. My sister Rachel somehow ended up with the name Yay-Yay...figure that one out! Kind of like Ray-Ray I think. The kids still call her that even though they are perfectly capable of pronouncing the name Rachel.

Anyway, Jojee, as she is known by the nephews and the rest of the family for that matter, came to visit this last week. She just left tonight so I thought I would post some pictures of her visit. Mostly they are of the kids because they were the best part of the trip!

First there were presents. Lots of presents! The boys woke up to these cute little gift bags full of goodies and an invitation to come swimming at Jojee's hotel. When they got there, there were more presents from Nana and from Great Aunt Nancy and G.G

Yippie! Swimming!

One of the days we went to the McCormick Railroad Park. Notice I'm wearing a sweatshirt!!!! It was actually cold one of the days. Well I don't know if "cold" is the right word, but there was a little chill. It was short lived. Today it was 97 degrees. That's right...97. Tomorrow....99. FYI...IT'S OCTOBER!!!!! Good News, it is cooling down, slowly but surely.

Anyway, the train park was a blast... for the kids AND us!

One great thing about Phoenix are these "splash" parks that are all over the place. The kids LOVE them and there's nice comfy chairs where we can kick back and watch from the sidelines. This splash park happens to be surrounded by Cold Stone, Starbucks and Paradise Bakery! (We try not to go there too often! :) )

I know most of the pictures are just of the kids, but the sheer joy on their faces was their response to having their beloved Jojee around again! It was hard dropping her off at the airport tonight. Brendan cried for a long time not understanding why she had to go and why we couldn't go too. So we are just starting another count-down until another "beloved" Auntie, Uncle, Nana, Papa or good friend comes for a visit and a whole lot of fun!

Week 3: School

Today during school we practiced writing all the letters we've learned so far (B, F, M) in a tray full of rice. I have to say it was a huge hit with the kids. Wyatt practiced drawing circles and then hopped down to practice plugging things into the electrical outlet! Yikes! So far, that has been the most challenging part of homeschooling: trying to keep Wyatt occupied with something and well supervised! We pulled out the play dough after all of our "work" and Wyatt played with it for a long time before he started trying to eat it. He was just trying to get some attention AND he was hungry for lunch! So we quit and had lunch!
If you talk to Brendan on the phone, be sure to ask him about his "memory verse". He loves reciting it to people!
PS. Be sure to scroll down and read about our good news!
I'll give you a hint: (Sold!)

Silly boys!

Sometimes these 2 get sooo goofy! I tried to capture a little of the shenanigans (sp?) on camera. I would like to point out the full body shot of Brendan. This morning I told Brendan to go get dressed. Normally he dresses himself, but I usually pull out something for him to wear. This morning I just let him do it. I really didn't know what he would choose (remember, we don't have dressers, just some piles and a small wire thing that has a few small drawers). Anyway he came out with a cute, blue striped polo shirt that he got for his birthday and a little pair of gray shorts that are size 12-18 months! Those shorts are too small for Wyatt. They were so tight, they could have been underwear. I started bustin' up laughing and he started laughing too. I told him to go get some other shorts, those were too small. He came back with another little pair of shorts that are about too small for Wyatt too, but weren't nearly so tight. I just said, "Fine, those'll work. Let's go!" What can I say, I guess he likes short shorts!

Enjoy the pics!

Sold!

Finally! We have an official buyer for our house in Shelton! First round of papers have all been signed. I have to admit it is somewhat bitter-sweet, but what a burden has been lifted! Closing date is in about a month, but the buyers are tying to move it up....which is fine with us! Just keep praying everything goes as planned. I'm going to start house-hunting again!!

Happy Birthday Wyatt!

Tuesday was Wyatt's 2nd birthday! He requested a "Thomas" Birthday cake, but believe it or not, we couldn't find much Thomas birthday stuff. He happily chose a train cake which, as you can see, he shoveled into his mouth with both hands (2 pieces).

We decided to have his birthday at Chuck E. Cheese. His Phoenix friends came and celebrated with us. The kids basically ran back and forth from games/rides to Rand who stayed in control of the tokens. I think they used 50 of them and they played for over 2 hours!!!

The kids had a blast and they slept great that night...so did we. Whew! Birthday parties are hard work!

Oh, by the way, the cake took 2 tries (my first one split in half while it was cooling) and I spent 5 hours baking and decorating it. The frosting, obviously took the longest! It was fun and very tasty!!!

Happy Birthday Wyatt!

5 Months

Today marks the 5 month anniversary since Willie died. Five months later and that is still really hard to say, hear, read or even write. I actually just paused for a minute after the word "since" trying to decide how to say it so it wouldn't make me feel so sick to my stomach. It's weird how after 5 months I can't decide if the time has gone by fast or slower than ever. On one hand I really can't believe it's been 5 months. It seems like it just happened yesterday. The last time I saw Willie feels like just days ago. On the other hand it kind of feels like years have gone by. The time has dragged on in a way. The feeling of sadness lingers and every day feels hard and I have to live so much more "intentionally" minute by minute.
That being said, I think I'm "living" a little bit better day by day. Part of me doesn't want to get better. I want to be sad and suffer because I don't want to forget him and I don't want to not miss him. BUT, I am definitely functioning better than I was a few months ago. I still feel unsettled, having moved far away and not having a home yet, but I'm learning to lean on other things instead of the things I have typically leaned on for security and comfort. I'm learning a whole new way of trusting God and although I'm nowhere near a place where I can say, "I've learned this or that..." I'm aware that I'm learning and that God is changing me and my whole family. It is true that we will never be the same. Nothing will and that is a major part of the grief. Everything is different. I'm starting to anticipate and "look forward" (in a way) to being changed and molded into something "new". I'm starting to lean into the idea that God wants to use all the tragedy and sadness to refine me and bring about healing.
It's been 5 months. Sometimes I'm fine. Sometimes I'm not fine. Most of the time, I don't have a lot of "reserve"...if you know what that means. I still have shorter patience and a lot of unpredictable depressed times. BUT, I have happy times too. ALWAYS I will love my brother. ALWAYS I will miss him. ALWAYS I will look forward to seeing him again.
I still can't believe this has happened, to be honest. It seems so crazy and not real.

Everything has changed. It is all still changing. I simply grab hold to the one thing that will never change and allow Him to carry me (or push me) when I don't think I can go forward anymore. Someday we'll meet again, my brother and I, and we will hug and cry and never let go. And all the sadness will be gone.

First Day of School

Since our move it has been really hard establishing a routine or planning very far into the future because with every weekend we think maybe we will get word that our wait is over and our house has sold. With that news we can finally decide where we are going to live and hopefully get plugged in (kids activities, mom groups, etc.) As fall quickly approached I was having a REALLY hard time deciding what to do with Brendan. He's 4 now. Time for school. All of his friends here were signed up for preschool by the middle of summer and I was really torn whether to enroll him, have him skip this year, or start homeschooling. Part of me really wanted to enroll him in school. I'm stressed out and a two and a half hour break every day sounded kind of nice. Plus, Brendan really loves being around other kids. BUT, my heart was torn because for some reason this whole homeschooling thing sounds so great to me. I get to teach them, I get to watch them learn, and I get to protect them from finding out the things I don't want them to find out until their older! :) I read a lot and researched a lot and finally decided we were going to homeschool!

I chose a curriculum that really stood out to me called Sonlight. It is literature based which means that they do a lot of their learning by reading "living" books rather than text books. It is also Bible based and offers complete packages with instructors guides, online forums and lots of resources. In the meantime, Brendan's friends have all started going to preschool and, as expected, he wants to go too. We've been talking about the difference between his friend's school and his school and that he gets to have Mom as his teacher!

All of our school supplies arrived on the doorstep on Friday morning. The boys went through the box and looked at all the new books. Brendan was so excited to start. It was tough holding him off until Monday.

Monday finally came and we had our first day of school with total success. We have a memory verse every week, a character trait every week and then daily we have storybook time, Language Arts, Science, Social Studies, Handwriting and Math. (All of this at a preschool level of course!) I'm sure you can tell by his face that he is thoroughly enjoying himself. Wyatt participates too, at his own level. He likes reading the books with us and doing a little coloring, but he does a lot of hopping around from one thing to the next. I think the best part about it is that it really is school we are doing, but we are having so much fun together, and it is nothing but a joy to give Brendan an instruction and watch him learn before my very eyes. He's accomplished something, and he's proud, and I got to watch and participate too! I feel really good about my decision and I think we are going to have a really fun year learning together at "home"....wherever that may be. Maybe tomorrow our classroom will be in the backyard!

Note: For all the homeschool skeptics out there. I already have a plan in place to make sure that my child is properly socialized and never bored or stuck at home! Soccer teams, playdates, field trips, gymnastics, Sunday School, etc, should give him plenty of activity, interaction with other kids and even other adults!!

Just look at the pictures! The first day of school was a total success!!!

Remote Control Fun

Brendan got this remote control car for his birthday from Grandpa Mike. I think it was by far his favorite gift and he begs to play with it every day. The battery is always charging! Both boys and I walked over a half a mile the other day driving the car all the way around a nearby park. They had to take a cold bath when we got home to cool down and clean up but they had fun. Such boys!!!

More Waiting....(housing update)

For the last 4 months, Rand and I have been living with Rand's dad, Mike. It has been a great place for us to transition and Mike is really easy to live with and the kids love seeing him all the time. However, all of our things are in storage including clothes, shoes, dressers, pots and pans, etc. Originally we didn't think we would be here that long. A month or two as we got settled and found a place to live, selling our house in Washington first of course. Well we did a lot of looking (house shopping) when we first got here. First with a realtor and then on our own, looking at a lot of model homes and new builds. It seemed like weeks of research. We'd been here about a month, maybe a little longer and decided to sign a purchase agreement with Centex Homes on a house that was in progress but wouldn't be finished until September. Our closing date would be September 27. This felt like a long wait to me. It meant a couple more months of living, basically, out of suitcases. The wait was worth it, plus it gave us a little more time to get things taken care of with our house in Washington. [Side note: we've had 3 offers on our house, 2 that were contingent and one that was too low. After holding onto a contingent offer for a month we decided to let it go (this was in July), hoping that they would get their house sold and make us another offer, but in the meantime, our house would be back on the market without any offers on it.] ANYWAY, the house we had the purchase agreement on is beautiful and perfect...and almost finished. We've gone regularly for the last couple months to walk around it, see what's new and dream about living there.
The last couple weeks we have really been stressing out about what we should do. Our loan on our new house was contingent upon the sale of our home in Washington. We were given a plan B loan for the new house but the requirements were $1000/month raise from Rand's job AND $1000 lease agreement on our house in Washington. Ugh! So, we got to work. Basically, we came up with the requirements that would get us into the house. We met the requirements for the mortgage company, but personally it didn't feel right. Rand's raise was more of an "apparant" raise (our insureance benefits getting put into his paycheck rather than just covered by the church) AND we potentially could have my sister and her husband rent our house, but really we just want our house sold. After a couple weeks of trying to figure this all out and really coming to the realization that no matter what, it isn't going to be best for us to buy before our house sells in Washington, we decided to let the house go and stay here until we can get our house sold. How long will that be?? Could be a week.....could be a year.
Needless to say I'm sad. I'm sick of waiting for my own space. I'm trying really hard to just learn the lessons that God is asking me to learn. Patience, obviously. Trust, faith, reliance on Him and finding my comfort in relationships and God rather than a home.
I'm having a really hard time with it because all my reasons for wanting a home are good! :) I'm going to start homeschooling Brendan. He is so excited to start, but I've been waiting to order the curriculum because we really don't have anywhere to put 30 new books, calenders and school supplies. I want somewhere for our friends and family to be able to stay and to visit us when they come down. I want to cook dinner and I want to get all my clothes off the floor.
Because of our decision, Rand and I have decided to go through our storage garage this weekend and see if we can't bring some things home to make life a little easier. Maybe we can find a space for a dresser and maybe we can find some of my kitchen things to bring here.
I have hope for the future and I look forward to the day (that I know will come) that I move into my very own house. I feel weary and burdened and pretty beaten down with the let downs and grief in my life right now that I'm trying to understand and grow from.
Pray for our house to sell (I know a lot of people have been doing this for about 6 months).
Pray for the family's house to sell who wants to buy ours!
Pray for me!

Brendan is 4!!

I can't believe Brendan is 4. Yesterday (the 7th) was his birthday and he was beyond excited. Last week when I asked him what kind of cake he wanted he said, "I want an airplane cake." I thought, hmmm, how can I make that happen? So we went shopping for a cake pan. When we got to the cake pan section, low-and-behold, he saw a Lightning McQueen cake pan! Let's just say he really wanted a McQueen cake. So we bought it and I really started thinking about what it was going to take to make this cake. Keep in mind we are still living with Rand's dad and all of my kitchen supplies are locked up in a storage garage and Rand's dad doesn't have much in that department. Brendan was too excited for me to let him down, so I had to go buy supplies. I got everything for pastry bags and tips to measuring cups. I even bought a hand mixer. The cake turned out pretty darn good and Brendan loved it. I think it was the highlight of his birthday.
The rest of the day, after getting the cake decorated, we spent just doing things Brendan wanted to do. We went to the mall and got new baseball caps for the boys...ALL of the boys! :) Then we went to Peter Piper Pizza for lunch (it's like Chucky Cheese). Brendan just ran back and forth between his pizza and "playing" video games. Bite of pizza, grab a token, come back for more pizza. He had a blast. We came home for a nap and Rand and I decorated the house with streamers and balloons. After dinner Rand's mom, sister, our friend/co-pastor Greg and his little boy, and our friends the Simmons' (Casey, James, Noah, Julianne and Isabel) all came over for cake and ice cream. I think Brendan will be talking about his birthday for weeks to come and both boys are anxiously looking forward to Wyatt's birthday next month! Brendan got a few gifts in the mail too which is always fun. Who doesn't like getting mail......especially when there are presents inside?