I've been trying to write this in my head for a week and a half now and I'm afraid it's still rather a mess in my mind. Perhaps this post will help that. I have been unable to share on my blog what has been going on with us for quite a while, so I will do my best for those of you who are hearing about all this for the first time.
For months now we have been aware that there are financial issues at our church. Clearly, the church can't support 2 full time pastors. We've known there was a chance that we wouldn't be here long term. BUT, there was a hope that things would change and we would be. Rand has done an amazing job while here at GVF. I couldn't be more proud of him and we are sad that this ministry has come to an end. Being here only a little over a year we were just starting to feel like we were finding our niche; getting to know people deeper, loving our small group, finding things around us to do and be a part of on our own, etc. Add in a baby and some serious pregnancy hormones and you might be able to imagine a tad what this last week and a half has been like for me. I've really been a mess.....going through all sorts of waves of emotions and grief. I'm starting to feel a little bit better now, looking to the future and discerning what God has for us next.
SO WHAT
IS NEXT?
The short answer, we don't know for sure yet. We have been praying and talking and processing like you would not believe. Life doesn't feel very normal right now. We honestly can't talk or think about much else right now. I wish I could give you more than that. We have some ideas about what our future may hold, but for now we are still waiting, and praying about where and what we should do. I will write more as things unfold and we have a clearer understanding of what it all means.
No matter what it is, I am still trying to wrap my mind around that this is happening. It is a really big deal and I hurt for broken expectations and hopes that we had coming here just one year ago. One blessing that I have is Rand. I have complete faith in him. He has done an amazing job taking care of us and providing and being a good example and a leader for the past 9+ years for our family.
I know God has a plan for us and for some of those possibilities that are presenting themselves, I can honestly say I am excited. While my world may turn upside down we cling to Him who is a true Rock in our lives for hope and comfort. I'm scared, but I know I'm safe. I'm sad, but I still have joy. While there is grief, there is great excitement too.
Please pray for us. We are in the middle of some really, really big decisions. Things are becoming clearer, but there is still more information to be gathered and weighed before anything is for sure.
Anxious to share with you our new plan!