Living Life Large

For the most part I would describe myself as fairly conservative. Pretty simple, not too much excitement or risk. Some might say "boring"....others maybe "safe". I would say, it's just comfortable. Willie, however, was never concerned with "safe" or "risk free". He was about "fast" and "exciting". He was busy doing all sorts of exciting things. He wake boarded, wake-surfed, water skied, snow skied (back country), had motorcycles, climbed mountains, scuba dived, built and flew remote control planes,trucks and boats. I could go on and on about all the things Willie did. He decided he wanted to do something and he went out, learned how, and got extremely good at it. I always admired that because for me that is such a hard thing to do. There are lots of new things I would like to learn or new hobbies I would like to take up, but it is so hard for me to step out of my "comfort" box and learn.
Anyway, Willie's death has inspired a lot of people to try and live life more like him...to the fullest. Not only am I more inspired to learn some new things that have been on my list for years (like learning violin), but I am more inspired to learn some of the things that Willie was into (like riding motorcycles). My trip home was awesome because I got to do some things that I might have shied away from because I might feel dumb doing them because I will probably suck at first.
I got a tattoo in memory of Willie. Willie didn't have a tattoo, but had he lived longer, I think he would have. I think he would be really proud of us for doing something so "edgy" in memory of him. (It's not as big as it looks in the picture, but still, it's pretty big!)
Another fun thing we did was "abstract-watercolor-artnite". Basically, we got together with watercolors and paper and made paintings that weren't supposed to look like real things! Now, normally, this is the kind of thing I like to do.....the artsy-crafty kinds of things. BUT, this was a little different. This time we were painting with a "real life" artist at the table! :) Amy Cooper (Willie's best friend's wife) is quickly becoming our great friend. She is an artist, and although very normal and fun to be around, she knows a lot more than me about colors and painting, and how to put things together into art that other people would pay a lot of money for! :) That being said, it was a little intimidating to be doing art with her, but I got over it. And we had a blast. I even think some of mine turned out pretty good!
Also while I was in Shelton I learned how to ride a motorcycle. I've ridden a motorcycle before, but I really actually want to learn how to do it this time. Our friend Ron Larson invited me and the kiddos and Joanna, Jon and Jordan out to his property in the Skok. Valley to learn. Well, I have to say it was fun. A little humiliating, but pretty darn fun. I sucked at it, but I could tell right away I have serious potential! :) Ok, so I can't totally say that it was a "real" motorcycle, but you had to wear a helmet and you had to shift it, so I count it! The thing was built for a 6 year old (that was the humiliating part), and Ron didn't tell me everything I needed to know before I took off, and I ended up popping a wheelie. I didn't crash, but I did feel a little silly considering I didn't mean to do that. So, I was proud of myself for doing it, because normally I would have chickened out and just said, "no, that's OK" just because I didn't want to feel silly. But now I can say I did it, and I don't regret it, and I want to do it again.

The older you get, the harder it is to change who you are. It's easier to go on every single day just doing the same things you have always done and never grow as a person. I remember learning in all my psychology classes that people change and grow through pain in their life. Most people can pin-point turning points in their lives when they really grew and changed as a person and they are always times of pain and suffering. I hate that I am in the midst of suffering. I hope on the other side of it I can say that I have become a better person, and that I have grown. I think I want to live life more like my brother, with less fear and more excitement, always willing to learn in order to live life with passion.